“Alejandro,” I whispered.

  “He does seem to be the logical suspect. Which means you, my dear, and your vagabond, are currently my best resources to track him down and kill him before he moves on to humans and risks breaking the Détente. Especially given that you’re already in the state.”

  A knock at the door pulled my attention. Cade waved, indicating I should keep talking while he got the food. I moved into the bathroom and shut the door, to avoid being overheard.

  “How much?” I asked. We were supposed to be on her payroll. I wasn’t working gratis, not even for the head bitch in charge of the Carolinas.

  “Two hundred.”

  “Thousand?” Couldn’t hurt to be clear.

  “Yes.”

  I chewed my lower lip. Blood witches were a big job. The price was not even close to fair, and I assumed it was total and not for each of Cade and me, which made it even less than fair. Still, it’d put a dent in the debt he was still paying to the werecats for taking us in after I’d been kidnapped by the Darkwatch. Or give me individual funds to live off of while we settled in wherever we were going.

  The biggest part, though, was that I—we—didn’t have a choice. Leaving the Triangle in September had necessitated an agreement to be on Callista’s payroll.

  I just couldn’t seem to climb out of debt here.

  Rather than objecting, I said, “You have evidence for us? A starting point?”

  “Yes. I have Watchers pulling together the likely locations. All you need to do is go in for the kill,” she said, and I could hear the venomous smile in her voice. “I thought you’d enjoy eliminating this particular threat.”

  Something nasty curled through my gut as vengeance smothered fear. “I appreciate that.”

  “Good girl. I expect you here before midnight to collect the intel.”

  The call ended.

  Snarling at the patronizing tone, I exited the bathroom to find the table set with food and Cade lounging on the sofa. There was a stiffness to the posture I didn’t think was that of an unfed undead. Not with the tightness of his jaw and that twitching pinky finger.

  “Two hundred K.” I sat at the chair he’d left pulled out for me, my attention on the smells making my mouth water. I lifted the reflective lid from one plate and shivered with pleasure. This was going to be a good meal, doubly so given how much my stomach twisted with hunger. “She has a starting point for us, and it sounds like her Watchers are doing the heavy lifting on the investigation, which makes the pittance of a paycheck slightly more agreeable.” I hated the research part. I’d gotten good at it because being informed kept me alive, but I massively preferred the action. “We’re expected by midnight to pick up what they’ve got so far.”

  “Good,” he said, dark savagery in his tone.

  That pulled my attention from the steak I was cutting into, and I found it echoed on his face before he realized I was looking and blanked his features. In the expression was a hint of who he might have been a century or two ago.

  “Ask.” His voice was a taut whisper.

  Suddenly, I was hesitant.

  What, and how much, did I really need to know? Nobody in Otherside got a nickname like the Butcher of the Bayou because they served cold cuts and cheese. Was it fear that kept me focused on my food? Cowardice? Or was I finally getting smart, now that I had an idea of what was behind the curtain of that gorgeous face? All vampires were deadly dangerous. Most at least pretended to be constrained by modern sensibilities. Cade certainly did. Nowadays. If I found out the whole truth and he’d been something worse than a simple predator, would it distract me from getting this job done?

  Probably.

  I hated choosing between safety and focus.

  Hoping I wouldn’t regret it, I finished my food and leaned back in my chair.

  He hadn’t moved in that time, nor had his attention shifted from me. He seemed balanced on the edge of something. I couldn’t tell what. He wouldn’t hurt me. But my heart quickened in anticipation nonetheless.

  Especially when the change in my scent hit him and his eyes went vampire black.

  Chapter 9: Cade

  Cade watched Lya wrestle with the questions she’d been so adamant in wanting to ask. First was avoidance—she focused on eating. Then came doubt, seeping into her until she started fidgeting. Next came indecision, in the cautious flicks of her gaze to his face and posture.

  He wished she’d just ask already. But he was an old hunter and a patient one. He didn’t move. Barely breathed. If anything, that agitated her more.

  Good. Not that he wanted to intimidate her, but he did want her to think. She might still break from him, and if she did, he wanted it to be now. The last twelve hours had told him he couldn’t bear the tension anymore. Either she cleaved to him entirely, or they needed to part ways before the solidaire bond deepened further.

  Before it could hurt more than it already would to lose her.

  Burying his anguish at the thought required him to draw on that old part of himself though, and from the spike in her heartbeat and the sharp edge to her scent, she saw it.

  That’s right, love. I only play one of the good ones, no matter how much I wish it was true.

  She leaned away from her empty plates, going for casual but too stiff in it. After a long silence, she said, “What do I need to know to be safe?”

  Cade frowned. That hadn’t been what he was expecting. She was an all-or-nothing kind of woman. He’d been preparing to go into detail. This was…

  Was it a compromise?

  He considered his options. A little more than he thought she was asking but maybe not the fullness of the gory details.

  “I killed Morris—attempted to, rather—in 1750, after two hundred years of torture and abuse. Over the next few months, I made my way from Tortuga to Florida and then to a newly founded New Orleans. I wanted nothing to do with the British territories on the East Coast. The journey back across the Atlantic, back home, would have been too much for me with the state I was in. I’d have drained the entire crew before we got a night’s sail from port. So. With barely enough sense to keep myself hidden and maintain the Détente, I made my way west.”

  She blinked rapidly, her eyes widening.

  “I mean it when I say I lacked sense. I was barely sane. Maybe I made my attempt on Morris sound reasoned. If it had been, I wouldn’t have botched it so badly. He fed on me even as he kept me starved, unless I participated in some depravity or other. Then, I was rewarded with as much as I could drink. Eventually, I learned to shut off my conscience. To survive.”

  He had to look away then because the expression on her face pained him. Somewhere between pity and anguish. He didn’t want it, but she had a good heart.

  Agitated, he rose to pace.

  “That’s no excuse for what I became when I got to New Orleans. But it is the basis for it, so I’m telling you.” He forced a smile that even he could feel was sickly. “I suppose in the vain hope you’ll… Well, never mind. I was nearly discovered somewhere in modern-day Mississippi and made the rest of the journey without feeding. I’d already been malnourished by two centuries of deprivation and torture. The long journey and the stress of staying hidden for the first time in my life as a moroi tipped me into full-on madness.”

  Cade clenched and unclenched his fists as he remembered that. The cold seeping into him, despite the humid heat of the Gulf Coast. The fear that drove him as much as the hunger he denied. The aching pain of every movement, unsmoothed by blood.

  “I’m missing pieces of the journey and my arrival. What I do remember is Donatien leaning over me. Slapping me. Morris had been fond of slapping me awake. I thought Donatien was him and attacked.” He snorted. “Donatien’s younger than me, but I was in such a wasted state that he easily overpowered me. I should have died my second death that night. But he was lonely and bored, and I soon learned that, when Donatien is lonely and bored, bad things happen. But that night, he was kind. Gentle, even. After centuries of pain, he seemed like an improvement. Anyway. I’ve told you what happened from there.”

  She nodded when he glanced at her then grimaced. “Cade, you don’t have to—”

  “The moniker comes from my time with Donatien.”

  Lya pressed her lips together at his interruption and subsided.

  “I could show you. Mind to mind. We can’t talk like master and fledgling yet, but I think you’ve had enough of my blood now that I could push a memory to you if we were touching.”

  Blood drained from her face so quickly she swayed. “I— No. I don’t need to know that much.”

  Good. “So. You have the rough sketch,” he said. “This is the part of it you need to know: Donatien and I specialized in hunting down Othersiders. Prostitutes and orphans and other forgotten humans, yes. But that was an appetizer. For the entirety of our time together, we co-ruled as the Masters of New Orleans, despite being centuries too young for it. Savagery and cooperation go a long way, even in Otherside, especially in uncertain territory. And not only were we jealous in defending the territory, we also went out of our way to hunt powerful blood.”

  “Shit.” She scrubbed her hands over her face. “That’s why you’re so…modern. With the driving and the sexting. You had to stay ahead of stronger Othersiders. And it’s got to be why Donatien felt so strong.”

  “Felt?”

  She shrugged. “I realized when I was sitting with him that I could kind of get a feel for his power level. I assumed it meant he was as old as you.”

  “Interesting. But no. I have a century on him. He’s just been feeding on more Otherside blood.”

  “And I let him into our home.” Her eyes flashed, and her rage seared his nose.

  “That’s what you’re upset about? I’ve just told you I spent decades making enemies of a good chunk of Otherside in the most brutal ways I could conceive of, and you’re mad he was in our nest?”

  From the glare she leveled at him, that was exactly her problem. “I let my guard down. I made myself prey.”

  Cade started to deny it then decided not to lie to her.

  “He’s very charming,” he said instead.

  She bounced up from her seat and took up the pacing he’d left off with. “That’s why he thought you’d share me.”

  “Yes. We used to share all of our prey. We weren’t lovers, but that kind of sharing can be nearly as intimate.”

  “Got it. So why is Maria—why is Torsten—allowing you anywhere near their territory?”

  He shrugged and stared at the floor, still uncomfortable with the details. “The Master of New York had an old second, Giuliano’s predecessor. Hector. He and Luz, Santiago’s second, were dispatched to get Donatien and me under control when we were on the verge of breaking the Détente. Donatien doesn’t know, but I…gave up.”

  “Gave up? Like surrendered?”

  Cade nodded, the shame of it burning all over again. “I was already looking for an out. Donatien just wanted more blood, more pain, more chaos, and hang the cost. I… Something happened that made it clear I was turning into Morris. I thought about— Anyway. I abased myself to Hector. Let him take me out of the territory in chains. Offered my blood in exchange for a pardon. He was more than happy to take it and steal some of the strength I’d acquired.”

  He rubbed his wrists, still remembering the chafing of the silver-lined irons. “So after swearing I’d never be someone else’s meat again, I spent a decade owned by Hector. When the bastard got himself killed in a dominance battle, Giuliano moved up. I refused to submit to further bondage without a fight, and Giuliano couldn’t be bothered with forcibly taking control of another moroi of my strength. The coterie and the unsettled politics of the colonies—states, by then—took too much of his attention. He gave me a choice. I could leave or die. I left. I’ve been wandering ever since, both because I couldn’t bear trying to belong anywhere again and because, after what I’d done in New Orleans, there was no safety in staying still.”

  “Oh, Cade.” Far from the censure or disgust he’d feared, her voice carried compassion and a hint of sadness.

  He still couldn’t help flinching when she came to him and stretched out a hand. When she pulled it back, he caught it and kissed her palm. “I never bothered Torsten or his people, and he finds it amusing that, having once been a city master myself, I gave it up or was defeated and driven from my seat. He thinks me weak. And that, love, is why you should have been safe. And also why he attacked you. Because normally, I’m beneath his notice. But last night, he was reminded that I have a reputation. One that might well be a threat. And in you, he saw the means to shut it down before it could be reborn.”

  Lya sank down next to him on the bed. “Let me make sure I have this. You have enemies crawling out of the woodwork because, once upon a time, you were in a fucked-up headspace at a fucked-up time in history and did some fucked-up things. You got mixed in with some even more fucked-up people—Donatien and, later, Alejandro.”

  “That’s one colorful way to summarize it.”

  “Anyone else?”

  “No. I was too heartsick, and then I learned my lesson for good when Alejandro stuck silver in my back. After that, I laid low.” He glanced at her. “Always kept my eye out for opportunities to take stronger blood but never expected to fall in love. At all, let alone with someone who is so evenly balanced between accessible, capable, and vulnerable.”

  “So the biggest risks to my safety are Donatien, Alejandro, and the people of anyone you hurt?”

  “Yes.”

  “There lots of those around?”

  “There used to be. Even Othersiders die. Some did when they came for me later. Others simply reached the end of their lives.”

  “And staying with you means I’ll need to look over my shoulder for any of those people who are still living or their descendants.”

  Fear clenched Cade’s guts and sent his glamour spilling free. He reined it in with effort. “Yes. And me, I suppose. I don’t know how easily I could let you go now.”

  “Okay.” Lya bumped his shoulder with hers. “Thank you. I don’t love the situation, but at least I know now to be wary of anyone who says they know you. I can be more careful.”

  “You’re not going to ask if I’m sane? Safe? You’re not worried I’d keep you against your will?”

  Lya snorted. “I think we’ve established that, safe or not, I can’t seem to bring myself to have more than a healthy appreciation for your deadliness that crosses into the sexual. Sane? We’ve been together eight months, and you haven’t so much as forgotten an item on the grocery list when you don’t even eat food. You’ve never gotten lost in the past, although you clearly remember it well enough, and you’ve never forgotten you are here and now, no matter how many times I’ve startled you out of your sleep.” She grimaced. “I might not push you like that now that I know your history with being awakened suddenly, but I feel more safe now, not less.” She sobered. “I’m a little worried about what would happen if I tried to leave, but deep down, I like the illusion of being able to leave more than I actually want to. I like that you need me. I like that somebody cares about me that much.”

  That made Cade shift on the bed until he was half-facing her. “I’m beginning to wonder if you’re entirely sane.”

  She laughed.

  The bright sound shocked him so badly he froze. He’d recounted horrors, and she could still find it in her to laugh? Not at him but in a shared joke?

  “Does that mean you’re not leaving?” he whispered.

  The firm look she gave him almost made him flinch. “I told you on Ocracoke. I won’t punish you for honesty. I can’t demand you tell me the details and then use them against you. Or I won’t, anyway. I just need to feel safe, Cade. Ignorance makes me feel unsafe. And it means I can’t ask other important questions.”

  Relief shuddered over him, and cautiously, he reached out an arm, hovering it over her shoulders. Regardless of her words, he was still surprised when she cuddled against him. He was a fiend. A devil of the worst sort. And she accepted him. Accepted his truths and the remorse and regret he felt over who he’d been and what he’d done. Accepted that his wandering was as much about safety as it was a penance. It wasn’t until that moment that he realized he hadn’t completely accepted that himself or forgiven himself for becoming another Morris, however briefly. He’d told himself he had, but the strain of trying to keep all of it separated, of keeping the past walled off, had been weighing him down.

  “What questions?” he asked.

  “You’ve already said you don’t think Alejandro and Donatien know each other. Are you certain about that?”

  He frowned. “Not to my knowledge.”

  “In that case, why is Donatien coming out of whatever hellhole he’s been hiding in now? What does he gain? And is he going to be satisfied with one quick encounter with you?”

  Apprehension bit Cade with icy teeth. “Those are very good questions indeed, love.”

  Questions he hadn’t thought to ask because he’d been so caught up in getting out, getting away and on the move again, that it hadn’t even occurred to him that there might be more to Donatien’s visit than whispers and happenstance.

  “He said he’d heard rumors in Miami and thought to investigate,” Cade said. “It could be nothing.”

  “Neither of us is lucky enough for it to be nothing,” she said flatly. With a light grip, she turned his wrist so his watch faced her. “We have a few hours before we have to meet Callista. Do you need to hunt?”

  “No. I’ll do for another night.” He winced when she arched an eyebrow at him. “But I shouldn’t see her on an empty stomach, so to speak. She’s difficult on a good day.”

  “Difficult is one way of putting it.”

  “You’ll be okay for an hour?”

  “Yeah. I don’t love being back in Raleigh, but I can stay in the room and get some more rest.” She slapped her belly. “Do something about the imminent food coma. And don’t worry. I’ll be here when you get back. If I’m not, then I was taken.”

 

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