Relatively normal, p.24
Relatively Normal, page 24
I’m not sure what to expect when I knock on her front door, but I don’t expect to open it and find Ethan and his mother sitting on the floor under an open-sided copper pyramid with Sarah burning a wand of dried sage around them.
When my friend spots me, she puts her fingers to her lips to indicate I shouldn’t make any noise and interrupt whatever’s going on. She’s speaking in soothing tones to them, “All of the bad energy surrounding you is being cleansed away. The negative thoughts, fear of change, inability to be flexible, all the things that are imprisoning your chi. Release that which is weighing you and your spirit down. Let go of the obstacles keeping you from experiencing the life you were meant to live.”
I expect Ethan to open his eyes at any moment and demand Sarah quit talking nonsense. But he doesn’t. Instead, he seems rather content and peaceful. He’s not even complaining about all the smoke. Sarah continues, “I want you to continue to sit in the pyramid of enlightenment and visualize the toxic energy leaving your body. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Then she signals for me to follow her.
Back on her front porch I start to laugh. “What are you doing to them?”
She shoots me a dirty look. “I’m opening their minds to the possibilities of life. They’re both so locked up by anxiety and fear, they’ve completely closed themselves down. Their chakras are so dark, neither of them has an obvious third eye anymore.”
It’s no wonder Sarah and I became friends. There isn’t a normal bone in her body, which is apparently something I attract. “Yes, well, how in the world did you get them to go along with your little exorcism?”
“Natalie is actively looking to enact change in her life. She’s open to almost anything I suggest. Maybe not the naked snow roll, but almost everything else.”
I want to ask what the naked snow roll is, but honestly, I’m kind of afraid of the answer. So, I say, “I can see where it might be too soon for that. But what about Ethan? This is so not his thing. He thinks this kind of stuff is just a bunch of hocus-pocus and woo-woo rubbish—his words, not mine.”
My friend shrugs her shoulders. “He was really shaken up last night when he got to your house to find you and Sam were together. He’s pretty raw and he’s really questioning a lot right now. I assured him this was the perfect time to really capitalize on change, if he’s serious about doing it. I offered my services while he’s here.”
“Your services?” I ask. “I thought you just gave people a place to stay and fed them breakfast. What else do you do?”
“SO much more!” she exclaims. “I read their auras and help pinpoint problem areas, then I recommend dietary changes and do guided meditations. I’m pretty good at reading their tarot cards, as well.”
“Sar, Ethan isn’t just buttoned up and rigid. He’s not that way out of spite. He was just diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. It makes a lot of sense when you think about it. Did he tell you that?”
She tips her head back and forth. “I don’t really put too much stock in those medical diagnoses. Western medicine is famous for coming up with umbrella mumbo jumbo to cover a bunch of things they don’t understand.”
“Ooookay. What do you suggest Ethan does to help himself?”
She smiles excitedly. “First of all, he needs to purify his body from all animal products. He needs to go vegan for a full two weeks before he can do that. It will bring his vibration back into alignment, which will blow open his mind to change.”
“Sarah, I don’t want to rain on your parade, but there is no way Ethan is going to become a vegan for two weeks. He might last the rest of the day, or however much longer he’s staying here, but as soon as he gets home, he’s going to go right back to his own routine.” I share, “He can barely eat if the food varies too much from his set menu.”
“That’s what he said. So, I convinced him to stay through the New Year with his mom. I’m working out separate therapies for them, as well as joint ones like the pyramid meditation.”
“What? Why? You don’t even like Ethan. He barely tolerates you. Why would you want to help him?”
“Cat, the people who need the most help are often the most obnoxious. It’s my duty as an enlightened soul to help shed light for the troubled. How is this world ever going to evolve into something beautiful if we don’t reach out our hands to those in need?”
“But you can’t stand him,” I accuse. “You were mad that I even asked you to let him stay here.”
“I can see where you might have gotten that impression. But just because I’m enlightened doesn’t mean I’m perfect. My spirit guide came to me last night in my sleep and set me straight. She told me if I don’t share my talents for the good, my light will start to dim, and my vibration will decrease. I don’t want that to happen.”
If I didn’t look like a Masterton so darn much, I might start to wonder if my parents and Sarah’s had mixed us up as infants. Like they went to the same party and let people hold their babies and then never noticed when the wrong one was handed back to them.
All I can do is shake my head and say, “Good luck to you. Let me know if you need any help finding either one of them when they run off screaming.” Hopefully not when they’re stark naked after a snow roll.
Vegan Vacation
After leaving Sarah’s, I drive to the hospital to see Sam. The nurse at the front desk pages him while I wait in the lounge. When he shows up, he has a huge smile on his face. “You came to see me at work!”
I laugh. “Is it that shocking?”
“Kind of. It just seems like a giant step for you to make considering you keep telling me how slowly we have to take things.”
“I do want to take things slowly, but now that I’ve told Ethan it’s over once and for all, well, I guess maybe we can speed up a tiny bit.”
“You ready to set the date, then?” he jokes.
Pretending ignorance, I ask, “For what?”
Sam pulls me to my feet and wraps me in a bear hug. I feel right at home in his arms like they were designed just for me. “Miss Kitty, we belong together and we’re eventually going to make things official. I know it’s too soon right now, but one day it won’t be and we’re going to run off together and live happily ever after.”
“That sounds like a dream come true. But for the moment, do you have time for a cup of coffee?”
He looks at his watch and replies, “I do. Just let me alert the nurses’ station where I’m going.”
When we get settled in the hospital cafeteria, I tell Sam that Ethan’s staying in town through the New Year. I expect him to be irritated, but he surprises me. “If he’s staying with Sarah, that’s probably not a bad idea.”
“What? Really? Why?”
“I went through Sarah’s boot camp after I moved back to Gelson. I even lived out there in one of her yurts while I was doing it. I did the whole clean living, meditation, vegan diet thing. I never felt better.”
“Really?” I just can’t see it. “But you’re a doctor. She was just telling me she doesn’t buy a lot of Western medicine mumbo jumbo. I thought you guys might not see eye-to-eye on a lot of stuff.”
He shakes his head. “Just because I practice Western medicine doesn’t mean I buy all the mumbo jumbo, either. For instance, I’m not a fan of prescribing drugs for things that should be handled on a more holistic level. When a patient comes to me with high cholesterol, I tell them how to modify their diet and order them to start exercising. Some doctors just give people drugs right away and don’t address the effects the patient’s lifestyle has on their health.”
“Where do you stand on meditation?”
“I’m all for it,” he answers. “Calming the mind is extremely healing when you consider what a killer stress is. It wouldn’t surprise me if anxiety is a big issue for Ethan. Meditation, mindfulness, and even aromatherapy are all effective ways to deal with it. I think it could be very good for him.” His eyes widen like he’s just had an idea. “I’ll tell you what, as soon as Ethan and his mom go home, I’ll take some time off work and we can do a retreat out there ourselves. It’ll be fun.”
“Is this your way of getting me to go away with you?”
He winks. “Maybe.” But then adds, “In all seriousness, Sarah’s really good at this stuff. She didn’t even tell me about what she does; I read about it in Chicago magazine and thought, why not?”
“I had no idea. I thought she just had a B&B and sold organic produce. She never mentioned anything else.”
“Nope, there’s a lot more to her than that. In some circles she’s considered a miracle worker. I’ve even sent patients to her boot camp who I think could benefit from a lifestyle makeover.”
I’m shocked. “You prescribe it?”
“No, but I recommend it. Change is hard for people who are set in their ways. Having someone prepare healthy meals and show you how to do it for yourself, having someone talk to you about the benefits involved in calming your mind and caring for all aspects of your life—it’s pretty incredible.”
I’m going to have to think more about this. My friend has a lot more going on than I ever gave her credit for. I’m kind of excited to see what she does firsthand. Not until Ethan and his mother leave though, which I kind of hope is sooner rather than later.
Destination Barn Dance
When I get back to my parents’ farm, I don’t go inside. Instead, I sit out on the front porch and try to still my mind. If I stay in Gelson, I need to figure out what I’m going to do here. I know I said I’d wait until after the New Year to even think about it, but I’m just not a person who can sit still without knowing what direction I’m headed.
No grand ideas are coming to me, so I decide to take my question to the barn rafters. They haven’t failed me yet. I grab a blanket out of the old tack room before climbing up to the loft. I set up the army cot, lie down, and bundle myself up. Then I ask, “Okay, God, rafters, whoever’s listening—what the heck am I going to do with myself in this little town in the middle of nowhere?”
I stare at the ceiling for so long, I fall asleep. It feels like I drop into some kind of alternate universe. I see the barn completely transformed. It’s clean and free of clutter. On the main floor there are three chandeliers hanging from the center beam. Round tables, set with linen and fine china occupy half the space, while the other half has a stage for a band and a dance floor. There are people everywhere dressed elegantly in gowns and suits. I’d call the overall look rustic chic. It’s positively gorgeous!
Then the scene shifts to show the main area sporting bales of hay surrounding picnic tables. Saddles are used for seating along with wooden benches and stools. Fiddlers play country music and people square dance in merry circles. This would fall under the category of a good, old-fashioned barn dance.
Different images keep popping into my mind and I realize this barn, while no longer housing the trappings of a working farm, still has a lot of life left in it. I could take a page out of Sarah’s book and advertise country-themed weddings to people in Chicago. Maybe she and I could team up and I could send revelers to her farm to rent yurts to make this destination idea more marketable to the city crowd. Our closest hotel is about twenty-five minutes away, and that’s probably too far for most people. Sarah’s farm is seven minutes away, which seems perfect.
When my eyes pop open, I can’t wait to run my idea by my parents. I know the farm has been getting to be more work than they want. Maybe turning a profit on it again will be enticing enough for them to jump on board.
As soon as I get into the house, I call for my mom and dad to meet me in the kitchen. Then I go there myself only to find them already sitting at the table. They’re drinking tea and my dad announces, “Beat you!”
I chuckle. “Smarty pants. Listen, I want to talk to you guys about something.” The look on my mom’s face is as serious as a heart attack, so I add, “But, only if it’s a good time.”
“It’s as good a time as any,” Mags answers. “We wanted to talk to you about something, too.”
I nod. “You go first.”
My dad starts, “Your mom and I have been talking for a couple of years about moving into a smaller house in town. This place is a lot of work and we’re getting tired of maintaining it.”
“I have the perfect solution!” I interrupt. Then I rush in and explain, “I think we should rehab the barn and turn it into a party rental venue. We’d primarily advertise it for weddings, but we can do family reunions, office parties, all kinds of things.”
My parents share a look that indicates they aren’t too excited about my proposal. My mom finally says, “That sounds great, honey, but it also sounds like a lot of work. We’re hoping to simplify our lives and free up some of our responsibilities.”
“That’s why we were going to tell Travis he had to leave after the New Year,” my dad adds. “We want to list the house and property. There’s a cute little place in town your mom has fallen in love with. If we can get our asking price here, then we can buy that place and still have a good chunk left in the bank.”
“What about Nan?” I ask.
“It’s a two-bedroom, two-bath house,” Mags answers. “We’d take her with us.”
“Does she know what you’re planning?” I can’t imagine my grandmother living any other place than right here.
Dad nods his head. “She does. She’s not as excited about it as we are, but she’s happy at the thought of not having to climb stairs anymore.”
I feel totally and completely deflated. I was so sure my parents were going to love my idea and we were all going to go into business together. I have to do some quick thinking. I tell them, “I totally get it, and I’m behind you all the way. Just don’t list the house until we talk about this again, okay?”
When they agree, I run up the stairs to get my laptop. I have a couple things I need to look into.
Finalizing the Future
I call Jazz before I do anything else. There’s so much to catch up on, what with Sam and Ethan and all the personal life drama. Once we cover that, I find out her pregnancy is going great and that they’re having a boy. I tease, “People will look at him funny with the name Catriona, but sometimes in life sacrifices have to be made.”
She giggles. “I think I just peed a little.”
“Way to make pregnancy look glamorous, my friend.” Then I segue into my plan for my parents’ barn.
Jazz screams in my ear, “Oh, my God, I LOVE that barn! What a fabulous idea!” She’s quiet for a minute before adding, “Of course that means you won’t be coming back to New York. Dammit.”
“Jazz, I don’t want to wait to have you buy me out. I want to offer to buy my parents’ house, and then I can live here and rent out the barn. I should be able to swing the price because real-estate is just a fraction of the cost of what it is closer to the city. Apparently, no one wants to move here and that has a way of keeping the prices down.”
“Remember when we promoted Jen to vice-president?” my friend asks.
“Yeah, what about it?”
“Well, I’ve recently found out that she isn’t the struggling young woman we always pegged her for. It turns out she’s something of an heiress. She approached me last week to ask if you were coming back. I told her I didn’t know. She said if you weren’t, she wants to buy your half of the business and become a full partner.”
I’m so excited I can hardly stand it. “You’re kidding! How do you feel about that? I mean, I know we both like her, but is she someone you can see yourself working with as a partner?”
“That’s essentially how we’ve been working since you left for Thanksgiving,” my friend answers. “While that hasn’t even been a full month, it’s our busiest time of year and we’re getting on great. Based on our revenue, and her ability to pay cash, you should easily be able to afford your parents’ place.”
Sometimes life rewards you for all the crazy it puts you through. Nan’s illness and breaking up with Ethan have been unexpected. Yet they’ve brought so much good into my life. I appreciate my family more than I ever have before, Sam is back in my world after way too many years apart, and now I’m going to start my own business in the house I grew up in. It’s staggering to think about so much change in such a short period of time.
“Go ahead and offer Jen the deal,” I tell Jazz. “You have all the paperwork on our value. Tell her I’ll call her tomorrow to hammer out the details. And Jazz, I love you. I wish we could still see each other every day, but I’ve truly landed where I’m meant to be.”
“Oh, Cat, I love you too. Just because our lives have separated us by a couple of states doesn’t change the fact that you’re my sister. You’re my family and I’d do anything for you.”
We talk for a few more minutes before hanging up. I promise to throw Jazz the best baby shower in the world and she threatens that I’d better. I send love to Dylan, she sends it to my family, and then we say goodbye.
Nothing has ever transpired this easily in my life. I can only hope it’s because it’s meant to be and not some awful cosmic setup. But even I can’t imagine the universe being that cruel.
I go downstairs and get some steaks marinating for dinner. Then I throw some baked potatoes in the oven and get to work on a tossed salad. When my parents, Nan, and I sit down to eat, I announce, “I’m going to buy the farmhouse from you myself. I hereby offer you your asking price.”
My mom drops her fork. “How can you afford that?”
In that moment I’m nervous I underestimated their price, so I ask, “How much are you asking?”
She gives me the number. It turns out the opposite is true. They’re asking a significant amount less than I thought they would. I assure them, “I should be able to pay cash after the first of the year as long as everything moves smoothly with transferring my shares of Cat Jazz Productions to Jennifer.”
“This calls for a wee dram of the Glenfiddich in celebration.” my dad announces.
